You're doing it wrong and proud parents

It is time for a new feature, actually two new features. Today will mark my first rant, which will be part of the larger series, "You're doing it wrong". This will be followed up with, "Proud Parents", which as the title suggest, the actions, issues or people discussed are doing something that would make their parents proud. I believe in the power of publicly drawing attention to issues both good and bad (there is nothing as powerful as a good public shaming, but I also like to give credit where credit is due), so don't let me hear you say that I never talk about anything positive on here.

Drawing by @joelkelly

But for today, we will focus on those poor clowns that are doing it wrong, their offence, the misuse of Twitter. I really enjoy Twitter, I think it is a fantastic example of what is really great about our society, this generation and technology. It is also an example of everything that is wrong with society and this generation.

Let's discuss some common misuses of Twitter -
1. Re tweeting Oprah - I do not believe this requires any further discussion.
2. Bragging about how fit you are, ie "I ran 300 miles in 45 minutes", or "gosh, I am running too many marathons"...give me a break, I encourage and support a healthy life style but constantly patting yourself on the back gets old and fast.
3. Self pity - Tweeting sad, oh poor me themed tweets is a great way to confirm my suspicions that you are lame, thank you for making it so easy to confirm.
4. I'm sooooo busy- The classic, "I have been at work since 3am and I so busy, I will have to keep working for another 36 hours straight, without bathroom breaks or food, because I am the most important person in the whole company and I have to keep things going." I would be more inclined to buy how busy you were if you didn't update us on the situation every 3 minutes, unless you are a news outlet or the weather network, then these updates are expected.
5. First world problems - I think this sums it up

If you are guilty of these offences you are doing it wrong, let's try a little harder to make Twitter a tiny bit more interesting, and if you don't have anything clever to say, it's OK to say nothing at all.